Anxiety – what a concept

Hello.  I haven’t blogged in a while.  In less than an hour I am hosting a meditation meetup in my living room.  The house is clean – enough for my standards – and I have plenty of beverages.  So the physical space is prepared.  But the mental space is not.  I am anxious.  Here’s why:  I judge myself harshly.  It doesn’t come out (or is it in) to my mind that way.  It comes as judging THEM.  Well, no, actually what I am doing is imagining them judging me.  I will use a process that I learned from Esther Hicks  :  would I rather feel anxious or excited?…excited…would I rather feel frightened or at ease?…at ease…would I rather feel judged or loved?…loved…

I have energetic beings surrounding me to help me get to loving, easy excitement.  Wouldn’t it be nice to feel at ease?  This is my practice lately.  The messages that come to me from many teachers are to focus on self-care, to feel the love of source – love of self that is always there if I allow it.  I can think thoughts that feel good.  I can think general, good feeling thoughts.  I am not in charge.   I can’t make people happy, or sad; I can’t make anybody feel anything.

I believe that my life can be exhilarating and rich without having to create drama.  It is my intention.  I will have a thrilling life that is not based on surviving drama.  It is based on serenity.  It is based on listening.  It is based on forward movement.  It is based on love.