Day 6 – Give thyself permission

In so many ways, on so many topics, I think for myself.  Some might say I militantly think for myself. About a few topics, however, I am a scaredy cat.  It has been quite a while since I have experienced the swift and powerful shift towards freedom that I have experience during this first week of giving myself permission to honestly express my love of my body, and honestly express what has stopped the love for many years.  Letting myself off the hook for so many thoughts about my physical self, and about the  bodies of others.  Thoughts of which I was so embarrassed or ashamed that I did not acknowledge them to myself.  I’m surprised at how insidious it is; like a computer virus in my mind.  An example – I have always thought I was ashamed of my body size and shape.  In reality, it’s more accurate to say that I’ve been ashamed of not liking my body size and shape, and doing all sorts of misdirections and storytelling about it.  I said I didn’t care when I did, and said I did care when I didn’t.  

By practicing deeper honesty with myself and others, it is as if a gauzy curtain of lies has been cleared away.  Practicing loving my body has turned out to be so much easier than practicing loving my thoughts.  What I am finding is this: letting go of the habit of body hatred and replacing it with body love has uncovered an underlying and real problem – I am ashamed of the way I think about myself and others.  And I spend lots of time covering up that shame.  And somehow I am letting that shame go. and am allowing the emergence of a free, loving and true spirit.  It feels good.

Now, in closing, let me tell you some stuff I love about Molly’s body:  the way the roll around my middle gives me a place to rest my hands; diabetes which has inspired me to find a way to love myself; my hair and eyes which are beautiful and breathtaking; my arms which are strong and good at hugging.  

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