Category: Love

The sugar thing

On By missmollysIn 100 days, body love, Love, MeditationLeave a comment

According to my “HOWMANYDAYS” app I haven’t had sweets for 13 days.  Deep breath.  Sometimes I really want them.  Yesterday there were brownie bites in the staff room.  I almost had to reach out with one hand to pull the other away.  And it wasn’t because I really wanted to eat a brownie bite.  It was habit.  How many things do I do by habit that are not good for me?  Yes, I totally understand that brownie bites are not the devil.  Nor did the devil put them there to tempt me on Friday morning at 7:30 am on the week before the last week of school.  This 100 days of no sweets experiment is a gift to myself as a way to learn about me.  To shake up my patterns a little bit and see what sticks out.

Summer is coming and for me that means moving from  tightly scheduled days to no schedule.  Every summer ends with thoughts of regret that I “didn’t get more done”.  I think a very productive summer would be to unearth habits that no longer serve me.  Accept them, love myself and let go.  So I do have a structure.  It’s the structure to eat no sweets.  That is a loving structure in which I can move freely.  Move freely towards my unending goal of ever growing peace and happiness.

My 100 day commitment included:  1 hour of meditation a day, blog every day, and no sugar.  It didn’t work for me.  The sugar thing turned out to be the thing.  I am grateful.

2 percent done!

On By missmollysIn body love, Love, UncategorizedLeave a comment

It’s day 2 of 100 days.  Deciding to completely cut out sweets is easier than deciding to treat or not to treat.  Today, that is.  Remind me when I’m crying at the next birthday party with  a big chocolate cake.

One thing I’m noticing is that I’m caring a little more about what I’m ingesting.  That little  pause that I take to make sure it’s something non-sugary is a pause for me.  To ponder my food choices.

I’m not against sugar, and am fully expecting to develop a more mindful relationship with the treats.  But for now, just a cleanse, so to speak.  I wonder what other ways I will be finding to treat myself without sugar.  Got any ideas?

Enchantment

A few years back, I learned about the concept “Word of the Year”.  I always choose one.  Not a choice, really, if you do it right.  Sit quietly and it is given to you.  I thought my word was passion.  But part of the ritual of deciding on your word is to research it – find its meanings and etymology. So I couldn’t choose passion, because it comes from the Latin for pain.  And most of the definitions are related to pain.  Think Passion plays.

Words mean what we want them to mean, of course.  I love to play with both words and numbers, but there are different rules of play.  Numbers do become popular and are sometimes given meaning ,”twenty-one” for example, but  in general the rules of play are straightforward.  Words are more flexible.  “Find your Passion” has become a catch-phrase for those of us who are spiritual but not religious.  Or those who love Oprah and Chopra.  It’s that common 21st Century usage which brought me to the word.  The nagging feeling that if I could settle down and find a passion  I would be better.  I could follow my bliss and be of real use in the world.  Now I’m free!  Molly has let go of her futile search for her passion.  Passion means pain and I don’t have to eat kale.

So I came to enchantment.  ‘Twas a synonym of a synonym of a synonym of passion.  I wonder if there’s a word for “synonym of a synonym of a synonym” – trisynonym perhaps.  Enchantment has a dark side as well – think Snow White or Rapunzel.  But I settled there because enchantment implies magic.  Mystical Merriment is my game and enchantment is my aim. One definition of enchant on http://www.dictionary.com is: “to impart a magic quality or effect to”.  Enchantment is the art of enchanting.  I am a practitioner of the art of imparting a magic quality or effect.  My heart is laughing as I sit and ponder a year of imparting magical qualities to all in my path.  Watch me.

On By missmollysIn Love, Uncategorized, WordsLeave a comment

What’s in a New Year?

On By missmollysIn body love, Love, Meditation, stillnessLeave a comment

It’s just a day.  New Year’s Eve…Like a birthday, it only has meaning that we humans assign to it.  I just turned 54 a couple of weeks ago, and that didn’t seem old at all until my mom told me this weekend that she was 57 when she and my dad began their retirement.  And I remember that she was OLD when that happened.  So, I guess I like being old.  I KNOW I like being old. I have time to sit and think and ponder and breathe and wonder and love.  Which brings me to the point of this post.  My word of the year.

It is stillness.  STILLNESS.  

Last year’s word was adventure.  After a year of adventure, one appreciates some stillness.

Facebook friends add much to my life, and it is on Facebook that I learned about Word of the Year.  From a “friend” named Molly, who I do not know in any way know outside of Facebook – it was just some little twist that occurred because we had the same name.  I can’t remember the details and am not in the mood to make them up.  I have met flesh and bone friends in similar ways.

I like words.  So much so that the Online Etymology Dictionary was the first bookmark on my iPad.  So I was immediately attracted to the idea of Word or the Year.  It’s something of an alternative to the dreaded New Year’s Resolutions.  Which are useful only as a boost to the revenues of 24-hour Fitness, Weight Watchers,  Nicorette gum and Kale farmers.  Word of the Year works like this.   Before the end of December, you begin to ponder your word.  You do not try, or struggle or effort.  You allow the word to find you.  After it finds you, it is recommended that you learn more about your word, including the origins.  Personally, I start the process by reflecting on the current word.  Oh, yeah, post your word on Facebook or somewhere else to help you remember it, if you are old like me.  At some point around March, I usually forget my word, but by then it doesn’t matter because it’s become part of my thinking

Adventure – I remember choosing it because I wanted to allow myself to experience newly.  And I did.  Beginning 2014 with the experience of the Landmark Forum, I created possibilities and enrolled others.  My adventures have been close to home – more adventures of the spirit than of activity.  The result has been confidence and courage that was previously hidden.  And a willingness to feel deeper connection to others.

So, now, stillness.  

I considered other words.  Stillness came out on top – and here’s why.  In my research, I found out that the phrase “still, small voice” is from the Bible.  Yeah, I’m sure most of you already knew that.  It is from Kings.  It talks about the lord being not in the mighty wind, or the fierce fire, or the earthquake – but in a still small voice.  And I will spend time in 2015 listening to that still, small voice.  It comes from stillness.  Not necessarily of body, or even mind, but stillness of spirit.  Holding a place where intuition can sneak in around, over or through the noise.  Ahhhhh.

I will let you know how it’s going.

Wow, it’s day 25

On By missmollysIn body love, Love, workLeave a comment

I love my job because I love the people.  I love the kids.  I love the parents. I love the teachers. I love the custodians. School is the best place to be. Well, for a workplace it’s one of the best, anyway. One reason is hope. When surrounded by youngin’s  every day, hope is usually easy to find. They want stuff.  All kinds of stuff. They see stuff. They expect a good life. And that makes me know that life is good.

Oh, it can get crazy and feel hard and I cry sometimes.  But that’s life. I feel my emotions now. I don’t hide them nearly as much as in the past. And it balances to more good than bad. More great than rotten. More hope and joy than despair. I love it.

Day 4 – Lovin’ my body AND my job

On By missmollysIn Love, work1 Comment

I appreciate my growing ability to connect with others. Each day unfolds with such perfection, sometimes peaceful, then exhilarating, then interesting. On other days it’s ferocious, then hilarious and then sad.  Love my job-best first week ever. I love cycles. I love repetition. I love randomness. I love Middle School. I fit. 

I also want to remember that I still love my body. Thinking and loving in new ways is comfortable. It’s like becoming a ” bootiful butterfly”,

image

Day 2 of loving my job

On By missmollysIn Love, workLeave a comment

I want to start by loving my friend for a moment.  I have awesome friends, and last night I got to hang out with one of them, and he listened to me go on and on about so many things.  And I listened to him.  We laughed and cried and pushed the reset button on our friendship.  I mention it because it is another result of the new mind paths that I am creating with my loving blog.

Now, my job.  I loved it a lot today.  I talked with a boy about some behavior, and he told me he has anger problems.  We did not solve the anger problems today.  But we also did not make them worse.  And I think he believed that I am on his side.  Then, in 6th period, a discussion began comparing the attractiveness of Dora and Barbie.  My heart sang because Dora was the clear favorite.  It came up because of a question on a “getting to know you” worksheet asking about favorite comic strip.  Well, it’s 2014 and kids don’t read comic strips much.  Who even reads the newspaper any more?  It was like talking about listening to radio shows back when I was in 7th grade.  I knew people had done it, but I certainly hadn’t.  I just love traveling the leading edge with them each year.  

Staying in the moment, listening with both ears and staying open, loving and compassionate was today.  And, my plan for tomorrow.  IMG_0543

 

Day 2 of loving my job

On By missmollysIn Love, workLeave a comment

I want to start by loving my friend for a moment.  I have awesome friends, and last night I got to hang out with one of them, and he listened to me go on and on about so many things.  And I listened to him.  We laughed and cried and pushed the reset button on our friendship.  I mention it because it is another result of the new mind paths that I am creating with my loving blog.

Now, my job.  I loved it a lot today.  I talked with a boy about some behavior, and he told me he has anger problems.  We did not solve the anger problems today.  But we also did not make them worse.  And I think he believed that I am on his side.  Then, in 6th period, a discussion began comparing the attractiveness of Dora and Barbie.  My heart sang because Dora was the clear favorite.  It came up because of a question on a “getting to know you” worksheet asking about favorite comic strip.  Well, it’s 2014 and kids don’t read comic strips much.  Who even reads the newspaper any more?  It was like talking about listening to radio shows back when I was in 7th grade.  I knew people had done it, but I certainly hadn’t.  I just love traveling the leading edge with them each year.  

Staying in the moment, listening with both ears and staying open, loving and compassionate was today.  And, my plan for tomorrow.  

 

Desire

On By missmollysIn LoveLeave a comment

It’s late. I don’t wanna skip a day. I have what I allow to be. I desire things that I don’t yet see. What I see in my mind’s eye wants to be. All of it is there for me, like falling off a log. Goodnight

8 days to go

On By missmollysIn body love, LoveLeave a comment

IMG_0546I love my work.  My next blog will be 30 days of loving my job.  I love it and I am also becoming ready toIMG_0103 move on.  My point – back to work today.  It was great feeling more connected with people.  As my fear of making a bad impression fades it is easier to care about others, and to listen.  Some of my relationships are deepening while others are fading.  It all unfolds as it should, as is comfortable, as I desire, as I observe.  I slept so well last night.  I feel amazing.  Bedtime.