Enchantment

A few years back, I learned about the concept “Word of the Year”. I always choose one. Not a choice, really, if you do it right. Sit quietly and it is given to you. I thought my word was passion. But part of the ritual of deciding on your word is to research it – find its meanings and etymology. So I couldn’t choose passion, because it comes from the Latin for pain. And most of the definitions are related to pain. Think Passion plays.

Words mean what we want them to mean, of course. I love to play with both words and numbers, but there are different rules of play. Numbers do become popular and are sometimes given meaning ,”twenty-one” for example, but in general the rules of play are straightforward. Words are more flexible. “Find your Passion” has become a catch-phrase for those of us who are spiritual but not religious. Or those who love Oprah and Chopra. It’s that common 21st Century usage which brought me to the word. The nagging feeling that if I could settle down and find a passion I would be better. I could follow my bliss and be of real use in the world. Now I’m free! Molly has let go of her futile search for her passion. Passion means pain and I don’t have to eat kale.

So I came to enchantment. ‘Twas a synonym of a synonym of a synonym of passion. I wonder if there’s a word for “synonym of a synonym of a synonym” – trisynonym perhaps. Enchantment has a dark side as well – think Snow White or Rapunzel. But I settled there because enchantment implies magic. Mystical Merriment is my game and enchantment is my aim. One definition of enchant on http://www.dictionary.com is: “to impart a magic quality or effect to”. Enchantment is the art of enchanting. I am a practitioner of the art of imparting a magic quality or effect. My heart is laughing as I sit and ponder a year of imparting magical qualities to all in my path. Watch me.

On January 1, 2016January 1, 2016 By missmollysIn Love, Uncategorized, WordsLeave a comment

Day 2 of loving my job

On August 27, 2014August 27, 2014 By missmollysIn Love, workLeave a comment

I want to start by loving my friend for a moment. I have awesome friends, and last night I got to hang out with one of them, and he listened to me go on and on about so many things. And I listened to him. We laughed and cried and pushed the reset button on our friendship. I mention it because it is another result of the new mind paths that I am creating with my loving blog.

Now, my job. I loved it a lot today. I talked with a boy about some behavior, and he told me he has anger problems. We did not solve the anger problems today. But we also did not make them worse. And I think he believed that I am on his side. Then, in 6th period, a discussion began comparing the attractiveness of Dora and Barbie. My heart sang because Dora was the clear favorite. It came up because of a question on a “getting to know you” worksheet asking about favorite comic strip. Well, it’s 2014 and kids don’t read comic strips much. Who even reads the newspaper any more? It was like talking about listening to radio shows back when I was in 7th grade. I knew people had done it, but I certainly hadn’t. I just love traveling the leading edge with them each year.

Staying in the moment, listening with both ears and staying open, loving and compassionate was today. And, my plan for tomorrow.

Day 2 of loving my job

On August 27, 2014 By missmollysIn Love, workLeave a comment

Staying in the moment, listening with both ears and staying open, loving and compassionate was today. And, my plan for tomorrow.

Day 29 Spontaneous self-love

On August 25, 2014August 25, 2014 By missmollysIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Tonight I experienced spontaneous self-love. What happened was, I was reading an email from a friend, and then began my response and a wave of happiness spread through me. It was gentle and felt like love. And the thought that entered was: “I love me!” It’s cool, the outcome of this 30 day journey. I have appreciated everyone’s love and comments and support very much. I have really enjoyed the deepening connection I have felt with many. OK, just used the thesaurus because “really enjoyed sounded weak”, so I have verily enjoyed reaching out. My words on this page (computer screen) cannot completely convey my experience. Not simply because I can’t find the perfect words, but more because each human beings experience is different. That has become clearer for me. I have altered the way I experience life. I have stepped back and been more accepting, in the sense that I wait, and listen, and allow the meaning of others’ to flow in.

I love this. No wonder I love me. How can I not love me, when what I am is an expression of god in human form. I know that many would say they don’t believe that. But everyone does know it. We all just use our own words and have our own experience. I like mine.

8 days to go

On August 18, 2014 By missmollysIn body love, LoveLeave a comment

I love my work. My next blog will be 30 days of loving my job. I love it and I am also becoming ready to move on. My point – back to work today. It was great feeling more connected with people. As my fear of making a bad impression fades it is easier to care about others, and to listen. Some of my relationships are deepening while others are fading. It all unfolds as it should, as is comfortable, as I desire, as I observe. I slept so well last night. I feel amazing. Bedtime.

Day 18 – Loving food and sleep

On August 14, 2014August 15, 2014 By missmollysIn body love, LoveLeave a comment

Kale is everywhere. Where did it come from? I believe that I can live a spectacularly healthy life with out Kale. And with gluten, by the way. I like to tell folks that I am allergic to gluten free things. Not that I have some high pedestal from which to look down on food fads. One month during my Junior Year of High School I was on a diet which only allowed me to eat hard boiled eggs and grapefruit. Another was just bananas – the fruit, not the insanity.

The point being this – now that I am practicing the belief that my body is lovable and worth caring for, I am eating a little differently. It’s subtle, but now I choose my foods based on the emotion I feel when choosing the food – you could call it a “gut feeling”. I can’t see where it’s going because I’ve never been there. I anticipate a new world to appreciate.

I need to get to bed now. Honoring the sleep impulse as well!

It’s the morning of Day 19, but I am adding a little to this post from yesterday. Because I literally fell asleep while writing so I needed to clean up the last part there, and add that today I will practice tuning to my emotions before making decisions about eating or anything else, thus allowing myself to be guided to the path of good.

Day 17 – Don’t Fear the Dark

On August 13, 2014August 13, 2014 By missmollysIn body love, Meditation2 Comments

I read something this morning about embracing our own darkness and how that will allow us to see the light – the other side of the darkness. I’ve been experiencing darkness for a couple of days, and I describe that darkness as neediness. Emotional neediness; I thrive on the opinions of others about me. I wish it wasn’t so. I frequently pretend that it isn’t so. However, it is so. There, I’ve said it. Not embracing it yet, just feeling the full wave of negative emotion right now. I’m hot, my muscles are tense, tears are streaming. For me, this is the darkest part of me that I am currently aware of. Right this minute I cannot envision a life which is not based around this emotional neediness. That is not affected greatly by the opinions of others. The glimpse of light is what I have received so far on this journey. I don’t care what anybody thinks about my body now. And that is amazing and a gift I never expected. But now I want more of that. I suppose that is what’s on the other side of the pain I am feeling at this very moment.

Years ago I had no friends, I had no god, I had no hope. How amazingly grateful am I today that I have loving friends, a loving god, and ever present hope. I used to drink away the darkness. Now I do not. Nor do I smoke it away, or eat it away. Hope just reared its bonny head. I am blessed with love from friends and from source, and with the strength to experience emotion. I don’t ever have to feel this pain again. I don’t mean to say that I will not have pain again. Just not this specific pain. Because I have the time and the tools, right this moment, to allow healing. To allow the light. To wait and feel and wait and feel until I get to neutral. Like a cork bobbing on the water.

OK now, to my Landmark teachings. Ooh, good, I’m starting to bore myself. Approaching neutrality. I declare a breakdown. Ah, closer to neutrality. I am the possibility of peace, stillness, knowing. I am the possibility of grace, which can be defined as simple elegance. Now what is the action that leads to peace…stillness…knowing…grace. Not trying to fix anything. Meditate.

Day 15 – My new diet and exercise program

On August 11, 2014August 15, 2014 By missmollysIn body love, MeditationLeave a comment

I’m starting my blog early today because I had a marvelous morning so far, and I had a marvelous morning because I had a magnificent meditation and I did what came to mind as inspired action. I want to recommend to everyone who reads this that you take advantage of the free stuff that Deepak Chopra offers – he’s a tuned in spiritual dude who charges LOTS of moolah to people like Oprah to come and learn from his center. And he’s willing to offer us free meditations so I really suggest you try them and see what you like. The current 21-day Meditation Experience focuses on “Expanding you Happiness” and today is Day 1. Here’s the link, and it is in the sidebar also: https://chopracentermeditation.com.

Now, back to the radical notion that Molly Mills would have a diet and exercise program. Here it is: Do what feels good. Yup, that’s it! I am going to shout it: DO WHAT FEELS GOOD. And what I was inspired to do, and it did feel good, was walk to the gym and work out with the weight machines.. And I can lift double what I ever did in the past. I am not sure why or how, but IT IS FUN!

Oh boy, I didn’t have such a great afternoon. I let myself get off the beam. Way off. And what do I want to do? Go back to the gym! This is a very interesting development. I’m going to look for a yoga class now. More later…

Time to finish it up. What a crazy day it’s been. I had a big disappointment today which leads me to be ready to continue to let go of more beliefs. This half of the body love journey has been a journey to freedom and new possibilities that I didn’t even know I wanted. Oh, I found the most excellent yoga class. It was exactly what I needed. Just remembering some discussion with friends lately concerning speaking my truth and it not being my business if another was in the space to hear it. That’s what happened today. All is well.

Day 12 – I make stuff up

On August 8, 2014 By missmollysIn body loveLeave a comment

Yep, I do. I make stuff up. Sometimes in my relationships with people, specifically male people (I’m a straight female), I make up stuff that makes me feel bad. (I feel a 30-days to loving myself in relationships blog coming…). But for now, I am just using that as a contrast to what I’m practicing with my current blog – making up good shit about my body. Oops, I will go back to using the word stuff but you can read it how you like. I learned several years ago that I might as well use this imagination of mine to make up good stuff. It’s not always easy, though, with every topic. “A belief is just a thought you keep thinking”, says Abraham-Hicks. I had to break through this wall of beliefs that I made concerning my body and my worthiness and open it up a crack. Through that crack, the new stories could grow.

So here’s some stories I make up…All food is equally good for me. My mind shapes my body. It is healthier for me to eat what I want than to follow someone else’s “healthy eating” rules. When I am in alignment with source, I know exactly what to eat, how to eat, how to move, and I also love purely. I imagine that some of you are thinking – oh boy, she is in a fantasy world. She’s probably gonna die soon with that kind of storytelling!

If you are a fearless reader of this blog, however, you can probably get yourself to agree with my reality which is that these stories are much healthier than my old stories. I’ve already been eating whatever I like, and shaping my body with my thoughts, all the while pretending to be following the “rules” or thinking of myself as a bad girl for not following. I would place a large wager on the likelihood of my health improving with these new stories.

Tonight for the first time in 12 days I overate – meaning that my stomach is overfull and I’m uncomfortable. I have never been able to will myself to avoid overeating for more than one or two meals. My new stories just made it the easy thing. And overeating tonight is quite alright. I spilled some milk too. Not crying!